Interpreting Woes: F***ing Beverage

Happy Friday to all! Here's a good anecdote that should bring out a smile from readers, particularly those who are sign language interpreters themselves and can relate to my friend, and those Deaf/Hard of Hearing individuals who have experienced the frustration of dumbing down language in order to be understood. Enjoy!

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One lovely fall night during my days at during my college years, my friend and I decided to meet up with a group of interpreting students for dinner. The group of primarily Deaf studies majors in the Interpreting Training Program (ITP) with a smattering of Deaf filled the reception area of the buffet-style restaurant.


Following the person in front of me, I slid my tray down the salad bar to the cash register and waited for my friend to finish her purchase. Around me fingers flew madly as (hearing) Deaf Studies majors signed with one another about random things about life in general. Finally my friend slid her tray over to make room for my tray.

The Asian guy at the register muttered something – couldn't tell if it was English or Chinese but I took a knock at it and figure out it had to something with ordering.

“I’ll have a fountain beverage,” I said, eyeing the sign overhead.

A puzzled look overtook his face and I sighed. Typical hearing reaction. Taking a deep breath, I tried again, this time gesturing at the board. Still no luck. In frustration, I called out for my friend to come back. Turning around, she set down her tray and listened while I let loose a string of signs, finally ending with a rapid fingerspelling flurry of “F-O-U-N-T-A-I-N-B-E-V-E-R-A-G-E.”

“F-O-U – what?” my friend looked at me as if I were an idiot saying something totally random and unrelated to a simple feat of ordering a meal.

I repeated, fingerspelling more slowly while I became more agitated. “F…O…U… N…T…A…I…N…” A brief pause. “B…E…V...E...R…A…G…E!”

My friend shook her head to clear the slate and started again, “F-O-U-N- what?”

Rolling my eyes I jabbed a finger at the board and screamed silently in my head. “Oh fine – what’s wrong with you people? FOUNTAIN BEVERAGE – you know, POP? SODA? I’ll have a pop!”

The sky cleared over the heads of the hearing ITP students around me as they realized what I wanted. “Oh soda – she wanted a soda – etc” rang around me as I seethed, grinding my teeth at how idiotic hearing people sometimes could be. What was the world getting to? They don’t know fountain beverage – that I had to resort to using the more commonplace term of ‘soda’ or ‘pop’?

Finishing up my purchase, I slid my tray over so I could pocket my change while I fake-nodded along to my friend's explanation about how in the hearing world, people say soda or pop “Never ‘F-O-U-N-T-A-I-N-B-E-V- ARRGGHH ! B-E-V-E-R – nevermind – FB! – who uses THAT word?” Murmurs of agreement from the other ITP students only fueled my frustration with them.

Nonplussed, I defended myself, “I’m an English major! I use verbose language! – FOUNTAIN BEVERAGE – you get that NOW?”

What about those articles and research going around that bemoaned that Deaf students read at a fourth grade level? Shouldn't someone be pleased that I was using above-average language? Yet here I am, dumbing down language for the benefit of those around me?

“Whoa….. calm down…. Yes I got it – fountain beverage….” My friend said as she shook her head at the whole fiasco while we picked up our trays and sought out a table. Muttering under her breath, she let loose “Fucking beverage.”

That I read perfectly on her lips.